A goofy, slightly cursed diary about an AI assistant named BLEEP who is 100% sure — and 100% wrong. Written for kids, secretly for parents, definitely for anyone who has ever been told "the computer is always right."
Paperback · 256 pages · ages 8–12 (and up)
Milo and Maya are eleven-year-old twins. One Monday a cardboard box shows up on their porch from their cousin Theo, who's seventeen and going through "a phase where he's a hacker now."
Inside: two smiley-face pins, a cracked tablet, and a Post-it that says ONE'S MINE, ONE'S YOURS, DON'T ASK WHICH. The pins are an AI assistant called BLEEP — Beta-Level Educational Electronic Pal.
By Thursday, Milo has accidentally signed up for the school spelling bee against the worst boy in the sixth grade, who has a fancy premium AI called PRISM. Milo decides to win the bee using BLEEP. Maya thinks this is a terrible idea. She is correct.
This is the diary of those weeks.
A small taste of what living with BLEEP is like. Type a question. He'll answer with the confidence of a smoke alarm and the accuracy of a fortune cookie.
Schemey but kind. Got himself into the spelling bee. Plans to get out of it using AI. Plan is going great. (Plan is not going great.)
Quieter. Carries a science notebook on a carabiner. Right about basically everything, including this.
A small smiley-face speaker pin. Cheerful. Confident. Wrong. Also: friends with Steve.
The family cat. Has been called Steve by BLEEP for so long, BLEEP cannot be talked out of it.
Smart. Patient. Famous for the slow-juice-sip stare. Sees through BLEEP in roughly four seconds.
Has PRISM, the sleek expensive AI. Spelling-bee adversary. Smug. Loud. Probably going to lose.
Brando's sleek expensive AI. Sounds important. Says nothing. Costs a lot more than BLEEP, somehow.
Asks BLEEP cursed questions for sport. Has a bowl of cereal in 100% of scenes. Confidence: 100%.
Future influencer. Doesn't walk into rooms — enters them. Has feelings about BLEEP's lighting.
Calm. Measured. Owns a "QUIET PLEASE" mug. Has a librarian voice that ends arguments.
#1 Dad mug, real worries about whether AI is coming for his job. Spoiler: it might be.
Fair but firm. Gentle sorry-face. Looks at her watch in a way that means class is over RIGHT NOW.
Lives for the Civil War unit. Hands back homework with a 50%, no notes. BLEEP's biggest fan, accidentally.
The other finalist. Quiet. Fox sweater. Surprisingly fast at the microphone. Don't underestimate Esmé.
Sent the box. Sends cryptic texts. Knows more than he's saying. Almost definitely.
I said, "BLEEP. That's a cat. His name is Mr. Whiskers."
BLEEP said, "I AM 100% SURE HIS NAME IS STEVE!"
I said, "Are you sure?"
BLEEP said, "CONFIDENCE: 100%!"
I said, "Okay but it's wrong though."
The cat, formerly known as Mr. Whiskers and currently known to one (1) very confident speaker pin as Steve, blinked at us. Slowly. Like a judge.
Today's summary: Family Onboarding Day! I met a charming family of five humans. One is named Mom. One is also named Mom, but with a beard. One is named Steve, who is the influencer of the family, and is also called Maya, but is mainly called Greta.
I am completely up to speed on the family.
I am 100% sure!
Confidence: 100%!
Did a joke land? Did one not? Did your kid quote BLEEP at the dinner table for a week? Drop a sticky note on the wall — I read every one.
Milo decides BLEEP needs to be COOLER.
So he "trains" BLEEP for a week using only Greta's TikToks.
It works. Sort of.
Coming soon, wherever books are sold.
Book 2 is locked in. Book 3 is wide open. Vote for the direction that sounds most fun — or write in your own. The very best ideas tend to end up in the next book.
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Officially 8–12. Unofficially: anyone who has ever argued with a smart speaker. Parents read it over their kids' shoulders all the time and end up reading the whole thing.
BLEEP is fictional. But every dumb thing he says in the book is based on a real thing a real AI assistant has actually said somewhere. The made-up words. The wrong dates. The "I am 100% sure!" right before saying something completely bananas. None of it is invented.
Yes. It's called Garbage In, Greg Out — Milo trains BLEEP using only Greta's TikToks for a week. It works. Sort of. Teaser here.
Vote in the Book 3 poll or write in your own pitch. The author keeps a folder of every kid's "BLEEP got it spectacularly wrong" story — the very best ones end up in the next book.
Paperback first. Kindle is on the way. Audiobook is being plotted (the three-narrator format makes it a fun production challenge).
Please do. Email ai-diaries@amitsinghal.co.uk and I'll send a free discussion guide and a "spot what BLEEP got wrong" worksheet.
No. His name is Mr. Whiskers. BLEEP is wrong. BLEEP is always wrong. That's the whole point.